Category Archives: Uncategorized

FINDING RELIGION IN THE END ZONE

Scoring a touchdown in the NFL can be a religious experience.

There was quite a bit of justifiable outrage when Kansas City Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah was penalized for falling to his knees in prayer after returning an interception for a touchdown Monday night. The league issued an apology and said there should not be a flag for a “Player who goes to the ground as part of a religious expression.”

Sounds like a sensible approach.

Unless you want to get technical about religious expression.
Why couldn’t a player say that his end zone dance was a form of religious expression? Does the NFL have a list of acceptable religions, or could players make them up as they go along?

Ridiculous? Of course it is, but the official who threw the flag Monday night was going by the letter of the law.

This zero tolerance insanity is obviously a result of touchdown celebrations that had gotten out of hand for too long.

Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown was penalized 15 yards for doing a belly flop after scoring a touchdown in the Steelers’ embarrassing, penalty-infested loss to the Tampa Bay Bucs Sunday.

His was one of many amazingly stupid penalties taken by the Steelers and, at his Tuesday press conference, head coach Mike Tomlin said that Brown had scored enough NFL touchdowns that it should be routine for him.

And he said it would be nice if Brown just flipped the ball to the official.

Brown was asked about it on his local radio show and he said, “I just like to have fun. There’s a lot of work and energy that goes into scoring a touchdown.”

Brown, of course, needs to grow up. He’s obviously unaware that the No Fun League’s zero tolerance policy on touchdown celebrations is in place.

Another guy named Brown, first name Jim, has been trying to convince black players, who are almost expected to dance – an obvious example of the soft bigotry of low expectations if there ever was one – that they are feeding a negative stereotype with every performance.

Jim Brown is almost universally considered the best NFL player ever and despite playing only nine seasons, when the seasons were 12 and 14 games long, is 10th on the all time touchdown list.

So, he knows all about arriving in the end zone.
And he cringes when he sees current players “having fun” when they get there.

“(It’s) the buffoonery, The things we fought to get away: the stereotypical gestures. The rolling of the eyes, the dancing, and all the Walt Disney stereotypical racial disgraces.”

“You wonder how these individuals can be so stupid not to understand how the general public is looking at them…If you study history, you don’t want to emulate the things that were degrading and humiliating.”

“The humiliation was real. Now, guys are playing the yes-a-boss slave. That’s embarrassing to me. To think in this day and age, these young men would be out there shaking their butts and not knowing much of anything else. Not understanding the dignity of man and how to play a game and play it hard and let that speak for itself.”

I wonder how many current NFL players have ever heard Jim Brown speak on the subject.

For that matter, I wonder how many know who Jim Brown is.

The solution is simple. When you score a touchdown, spike the ball or , better yet, give it to the referee. Say your prayers on the sideline.

God and/or Allah will find you.

DEREK JETER AND JUST WATCHING THE GAME

In case you missed it, Derek Jeter is retiring.

You would have to have been in Yemen for the last six months to not be aware of the six-month retirement party that Major League Baseball threw for Jeter, who is finishing up his 20th year with the New York Yankees.

Why is there so much love for Jeter?

He’s a Yankee and for millions of people in North America, that is reason enough to hate him.
He had a great career but he’s not going to be any Top 25 Players of All Time lists.

Maybe he’s beloved by fans and the media because he’s a throwback. Twenty years in the number one media market in the world and the worst you can say about him is that he dated some really, really good looking women.

No ugly divorces.(He was never married.)
No sexual assaults.
No steroids.

He’s humble and polite, which sets him apart from way too many stars in too many sports. Remember Richard Sherman of the Seattle Seahawks using his live, on-the-field Super Bowl post game interview to pound his chest, look into the camera and declare himself the best cornerback in the world?

That got him on Time Magazine’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people.

In 2014, over the top is the way to go.

I wrote a book called “Just Watch The Game” a good portion of which is dedicated to pointing out how, in sports today, the game seems to get lost in the surrounding hype and stupidity.

Most fans seem to have become fans of being fans.

Tailgaters show up at 6 a.m. for games that start at 1 p.m.

You’re no longer a Steelers fan or a Packers fan. You’re a member of Steelers or Packers “Nation.”

Grown men dress like boys, wearing the authentic game jersey of their heroes, who are often young enough to be their sons.

That, of course, leads to fights, in which grown men wearing opposing jerseys, beat themselves within an inch of their lives.

There was a lovely scene at last Sunday’s Cardinals-49ers game in Phoenix, when two guys wearing 49ers jerseys were set upon by decked out Cardinals fans. Maybe you’ve seen the video of them tumbling down the blood-stained, concrete stairs.

Jeter’s predecessors on the great Yankees teams of the ‘50s and ‘60s were hated by people in every city they visited. But fans back then seemed to have some perspective, not to mention a dash of maturity.

They were there, first and foremost, to just watch the game.

They came dressed as regular human beings and didn’t feel obligated to get liquored up for five hours before the first pitch and go looking for someone wearing a Yankees cap to beat up.
Of course, the farewell party for Jeter was over the top, but you can’t blame him for that. It’s just the world we live in.

That’s why the Pirates pack goggles to wear during the champagne spraying celebration for clinching a wild card spot.

Jeter’s a throwback to the time when a team had to, you know, win something before having a champagne party.

But why not break out the bubbly and cheapen every pennant- winning celebration that preceded you when the team can sell the bottles for $50?

That’s what the empty bottles will be selling for next week. And they will be authenticated by Major League Baseball.

If that’s a little too pricey for you, how about a cork for 15 bucks?

This is nothing new. Amazon has an empty champagne bottle left over from the Yankees’ 2010 ALDS celebration available for only $160. If you want the cork, you’re on your own.

But don’t let anybody tell you that fans are taking this stuff too seriously.

Just watch the game, indeed.

SPORTS ADMINISTRATORS NEED TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP

Florida State’s half-assed attempt at punishing Jameis Wintston is all you need to know.

You remember Jameis, last year’s Heisman Trophy winner, who beat the rap on a sexual assault accusation. The prosecutor, William N. Meggs, said that, because of a sloppy police investigation, he didn’t have enough evidence to prove the alleged victim had been raped.

The New York Times did some digging around and determined that, “There was no investigation at all, either by the police or the university.”

“The detective handling the case waited two months to write his first report and then prematurely suspended his inquiry without informing the accuser.”

The consensus among most observers is that Winston got the star quarterback of the possible National Championship winner treatment.

Fast forward to Tuesday and Winston is standing on a table in the Florida State student union yelling – well, never mind what he was yelling. It’s a vulgar phrase that shouldn’t be written here and it’s definitely not something that someone recently accused of sexual assault should be saying out loud in a public place.

For that, Florida State head football coach Jimbo Fisher “suspended” Winston for the first half of Saturday’s game against Clemson.

Late Friday night somebody at FSU wised up and doubled the penalty and said Winston would be benched for the entire game,

One more big opportunity missed by a big time college coach.
Fisher had the chance to send an obviously well-needed message to Winston and a powerful message to the rest of his team.

He could have – should have – suspended Winston for at least three games. It’s these kinds of missed opportunities that lead to the problems that the NFL has been having the last few weeks.

Little or no accountability.

West Virginia coach Dana Holgerson was told by Morgantown police Wednesday that they had a nightclub surveillance video of his best defensive player, cornerback Daryl Worley, putting both his hands on a woman’s throat and throwing her to the ground.

Worley was charged with battery and suspended indefinitely, which apparently means more than half a game.

Holgerson should have kicked Worley off the team.
For good.
No second chance.

And when WVU Athletic Director Oliver Luck saw that Holgerson wasn’t willing to get rid of him, he should have stepped in and done it himself. And when WVU President Gordon Gee saw that Luck wasn’t willing to do the right thing, he should have kicked Worley out.

The time for second chances is over.
Big time college and professional athletes have obviously not been getting the messages that have (or haven’t) been sent to them.

Token punishments and empty threats aren’t working anymore if they ever did.

And when a player is kicked off for committing a violent crime, other teams need to avoid the temptation to give him that second chance no matter how good he may be.

It’s time for college coaches and administrators to start taking preemptive action. When a high school kid proves he can’t stay out of trouble or do college work, don’t offer him a scholarship.

Or shut up about how you’re trying to clean up college sports.

Pro teams should do what the Philadelphia Eagles did with their All-Pro wide receiver Desean Jackson this Summer after reports surfaced that he was hanging out with gang members in Los Angeles, including two who were suspected of murder.

They released him.

It produced a good bit of whining among the national sports media about how there was no real proof and Jackson hadn’t committed any crimes.

That’s exactly the point. That’s what preemptive means. Nip it in the bud. Don’t draft college players who have criminal pasts or criminal friends.

NFL owners, like the Ravens’ Steve Bisciotti, who, according to ESPN, knew exactly what Ray Rice did in the elevator that night, have to stop hiding behind the commissioner and pushing for leniency and start doing the right thing.

Or just shut up.

NFL HAS ZERO TOLERANCE FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE, SORT OF

Too bad J. Edgar Hoover wasn’t available.

Mr. Hoover is the most famous FBI director of all time and, even though his reputation has taken some hits since he died in 1972, everybody would have been a lot more impressed if he had been called in to investigate the NFL instead of a more recent former director, Robert Mueller.

Mueller was called on by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to investigate, well, Roger Goodell.

It seems people are having trouble believing that a company powerful enough to call on a former Director of the FBI to investigate itself couldn’t figure out whether or not its leader had seen a video.

The video in question, of course, is the one that shows Ray Rice knocking out his then-fiance. It cost Rice his job and it could end up costing Goodell his.

Goodell claims he never saw the video and that, to his knowledge, nobody associated with the NFL had seen it.

It was right after the Associated Press reported the existence of a voicemail from an NFL office number that the call went out to Mueller. On it, a female voice expresses thanks and says, “You’re right, It’s terrible.”
Call me crazy, but this doesn’t sound like a case worthy of a G-Man who spent most of his career trying to expose al-Quaeda plots.

How hard could it be to, by process of elimination, find out whose voice is on the recording and ask her who she was thanking for sending the video?

But this is the NFL and image is everything.

Yep, “We here at the NFL will leave no stone unturned to get to the bottom of this because we consider it our duty to wipe out domestic violence across the globe.”

Except in Charlotte, North Carolina where Greg Hardy was expected to start for the Carolina Panthers against the Detroit Lions on Sunday, despite being convicted of abuse at least as severe as Rice‘s.

Hardy’s former girl friend accused him of, among other things, throwing her into a bathtub, slamming a toilet seat on her hand, picking her up and slamming her on a couch full of loaded weapons, choking her and threatening to kill her.

A judge heard the testimony and found Hardy guilty and sentenced him to a 60-day suspended sentence and two years probation.

(Once again, law enforcement lets an abuser off easy.)

Hardy exercised his right to appeal to a trial by jury – a smart move that will save him millions of dollars. He has a 1-year $13 million contract and would be out several million if he had accepted the verdict and been suspended by the NFL.

The trial probably won’t happen until after the NFL season is over and he has been paid the full amount.

Will you be surprised if Greg drops his appeal after the clock runs out?

The NFL is calling Mueller’s efforts “an independent investigation” despite the fact that two team owners, Art Rooney II of the Steelers and John Mara of the Giants, both grandsons of NFL founders, will be providing oversight.

Kind of like a fox overseeing a hen house investigation.

That’s not to impugn the integrity of either Rooney or Mara but whatever the NFL gains from bringing in J. Edgar…I mean Robert Mueller, is lost by including them.

And none if it matters anyway if Greg Hardy plays another game in the NFL this season. As Rooney knows all too well because of the six-game suspension given his quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, Goodell has suspended players without waiting for formal charges to be filed much less an appeal being heard.

Mr. Mueller knows all about finding clues, but he may have met his match with the NFL.

The evidence gets stronger every day that it doesn’t have one.

RAY LEWIS AND STATUE INFLATION

The value of every statue on the planet took a tumble on Thursday. That’s the day when former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis got his.

The Ravens unveiled the statue of Lewis outside of M&T Bank Stadium and it now stands as exhibit “A” of what, in the last few years, has become rampant statue inflation.

Remember when statues meant something?
How much value would the Lincoln Memorial lose tomorrow if a Bill Clinton Memorial, with a statue the same size, were placed next to it?

Johnny Unitas’ statue had stood alone outside the Ravens’ stadium until Thursday. It was unveiled in 2002, long before the statue standard had been lowered.

Unitas is considered by millions to be the best quarterback in NFL history. He’s probably Baltimore’s number one sports star of all time, even though he played for a team that eventually sneaked out of town in the middle of the night.

Michael Jordan has a statue in Chicago.
Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, Bill Mazeroski and Mario Lemieux have statues in Pittsburgh,
Stan Musial has one in St. Louis, Bobby Orr in Boston, Bear Bryant in Alabama, Wayne Gretzky has two, one in Edmonton and one in Los Angeles.
Cam Newton has one in Auburn, Alabama. He was Auburn University’s quarterback for one year. He won the Heisman Trophy, which is a pretty nice statue in itself, but that is obviously no longer enough.
One season now gets you life size immortality,
Nick Saban got one in Alabama after four years as the head coach.
Statues are popping up everywhere and the more statues there are the less significant each one becomes.
Hundreds of people showed up for the unveiling of Lewis’ statue.

Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar weren’t able to make it, though. They’re both still dead.

They died on January 31, 2001 and Ray Lewis was charged with their murder. Ray eventually copped a plea to obstruction of a murder investigation in return for his testimony against two of his friends.

Reginald Oakley and Joseph Sweeting beat the rap.
The blood-soaked, white suit that Lewis wore that night has never been found.

Nobody should call you crazy if you believe that Lewis knows who killed Baker and Lollar.
For that matter, until the murderer is found, feel free to include Lewis among the suspects.
When he was asked about it during one of the many media slobber fests prior to his appearance in Super Bowl XLVII, Lewis said, “You want to talk to me about something that happened 13 years ago right now?”

It’s okay to build a statue based on the past, but the murder is old news.

Lewis was celebrated by the media as the Ravens’ inspirational leader. Listen to his colleagues at ESPN and you would think he’s Martin Luther King.

His quarterback in Super Bowl XLVII, Joe Flacco, said 90 percent of his pre game speeches were “gibberish.”

He is unmarried and has six kids by four different women.(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

While nobody would deny his greatness as a player, he will be remembered most for the ridiculous “dance” that he would do before every home game.

That’s why the statue outside M & T Bank Stadium captures him in mid-dance, head back, mouth open. They played his entrance song, “Hot in Here” by Nelly at the unveiling.
“No deceivin’, nothin’ up my sleeve, no teasin’
I need you to get up on the dance floor
Give that man what he’s askin’ for”

The families of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar are still asking for justice. They probably believed they would get that before Ray-Ray got his statue.

Here’s hoping the pigeons in Baltimore do their duty early and often.

TOMLIN’S SEAT SHOULD BE HOT

Mike Tomlin can’t count on a committee to get him to the playoffs for the first time in three years, and if the Steelers performance in the preseason is any indication, he just might be looking at his third straight year without a postseason appearance.

It’s easy to dismiss the preseason record as meaningless, but recent Steelers teams had bad regular seasons after losing three or four exhibition games.

An 0-4 preseason last summer led to an 8-8 regular season.

Bill Cowher went 0-4 in his last preseason in 2006 and finished 8-8 in the regular season. He finished 6-10 in 2003 after a 1-3 preseason and in 1999 a 1-3 preseason was followed by a 7-9.

If Tomlin ends up having three consecutive nonwinning seasons for the first time since Chuck Noll from 1969 to 1971, legitimate questions will be raised about his ability to maintain a winning program.

He inherited a good nucleus of players, including two possible Hall of Famers in Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger, the second-best quarterback in franchise history.

He also got a couple of good years out of Hines Ward, another possible Hall of Famer and one of the best wide receivers in Steelers’ history.

Where would Tomlin be without Heath Miller, Ike Taylor, and Brett Keisel, not to mention the defensive coordinator he inherited from Cowher, Dick LeBeau?

Aaron Smith, one of the Steelers’ best all-time defensive linemen, started 16 games in the Super Bowl season of 2008.

Then there were inherited players such as Casey Hampton, Max Starks, Larry Foote, Ryan Clark and James Farrior, who made major contributions. Willie Parker gained 1,300 yards for Tomlin in 2007, his first season as head coach.

Cowher inherited a good nucleus from Chuck Noll, but also won with players drafted and developed after he arrived.

Can the same be said for Tomlin?

Not yet.

INSTITUTIONS OF HIGHER STUPIDITY

Have you noticed that our institutions of higher learning do a lot of stupid things?

There’s no better example of that stupidity than the new playoff system that will pick this year’s major college football “champion.”
The fact that it’s only about 98% as stupid as the system that was in place since 1998 doesn’t mean it’s not still really stupid.

The Bowl Championship Series, which was introduced 16 years ago, was 99% as stupid as the system that dates back to the days of Pop Warner and Knute Rockne. what’s sad is that the four team playoff that will take place after this season has been embraced by 99% of the national sports media.

The BCS used polls and computer rankings to determine the top two teams in the country and had them play for the “championship.” I’ll bet you didn’t know that the NCAA actually used astrophysicists to interpret the data. That’s right. They turned picking a sports champion into rocket science.

The 2014 “champion” will be determined by a playoff between the top four teams at the end of the season, which would be fine if those four teams were determined, you know, on the field of play.

Nope. The geniuses at the NCAA have a 13 person committee that includes current athletic directors, former coaches and players and a former Secretary of State.

Condoleeza Rice and 12 other people will meet every week beginning and they’ll list the Top 25 teams every Tuesday, beginning October 28th. The top four teams at the end of the season will play for the “championship.”
It’s just a more roundabout way to vote for a championship instead of having the teams play for one.

And it’s still stupid.

And it will be a Mythical Champion.

How will these 13 really smart people make this stupid idea work?

1. Each committee member will create a list of the 25 teams he or she believes to be the best team in the country, in no particular order. Teams listed by three or more members will remain under consideration.

2. Each member will list the best six teams, in no particular order. The six teams receiving the most votes will comprise the pool for the first seeding ballot.

3. In the first seeding ballot, each member will rank those six teams, one through six, with one being the best. The three teams receiving the fewest points will become the top three seeds. The three teams that were not seeded will be held over for the next seeding ballot.

4. The 13 committee members will compete in a round-robin arm wrestling tournament with the winner awarded the honor of picking the best team in the country.

Okay, I made that last one up, but there are two more steps. Are you interested in hearing them? Didn’t think so.

The champion of every other major team sport on the planet is decided on the field of play and the NCAA could pick its football champion the same way, especially now that the Power 5 conferences have separated themselves from the rest of the riffraff.

Have the champions of the ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac 12, ACC and three wildcard teams (chosen from the Power 5 using a formula based on wins and losses) play off in an eight-team tournament.

In other words, keep it simple, stupid.